The Warriors
Again 10 years have been passed. It’s about the time
the gate will be open; the suffering groaning sound from the cave came through to
the village has been more and more frequently. 16th, the name a
young warrior was given; he is the 16th generation of the warriors
clan, whose fate is to fight the monster living in the cave. 16th is
strong enough now, and he has been preparing for this for long enough. He takes
over the sword from the chief. He leaves his village and finally starts his
adventure with his pride of his warrior clan – he can’t wait to end this fate
for his clan and take revenge for his ancestors. The gate only opens every 10
years when the moon light hits the top of the mountain.
Finally, the gate is moving, through the moon light,
16th can see someone is walking out of the cave, that must be that
monster! 16th is holding his sword and rushing at it! One shot only!
The sword is pointing through the monster’s body and blood is splashing out. At
the time when 16th is happy about his success of revenge, he feels it’s
getting dark inside the cave. He can’t even turn around his body and get out of
there; the gate is closed, can’t open. 16th gets trapped inside of
the cave.
Day after day, 16th is getting thin and
weak. But in his mind, he must get himself survived and go back to his village
to tell everybody he had killed the monster so that he decide to eat everything
he can get inside the cave even though he cannot see what are those things
because of the darkness.
10 years later, the gate is about to open again. 16th
was so excited that he could get out of this nightmare.
When the moon light hits the top of the mountain, the gate opens! 16th
is walking toward to the light, suddenly a reflecting light from a sword dazzling
16th’s eyes. As soon as he opens his eyes, a sword is going across through
his body; he can see his own blood which is in blue color, and this young man
holding this sword is in a costume with a logo, 17. The gate is about to close
again, and he knows that this 17th young warrior would also stay in
the cave for another 10 years.
This is a really good story with a great twist at the ending! The only thing that might be a problem is that it isn't really explained at the beginning what these warriors believe they are fighting and the back story behind this ten-year cycle, at least in a way that it could be conveyed without dialogue. Perhaps if you show the original monster of if you show an illustrated history of what happened, that could help clarify the beginning. Other than that, you're doing a good job! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing out the problem. Yes! I agree with that it needs a explaination for the background story. it would be challenge to set things clear without dialogue. I am thinking about adding a scene about what had happened to the previous warriors.
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